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The only thing worse than not having a boyfriend or spouse is having one that isn’t right for us.
We begin to compromise the things that we know are important in a relationship, just so we can be in a relationship.
When we got sober, my husband tried to find a spirituality that he could accept, but today he's quite happily a staunch agnostic or, as he calls himself, "aspiritual." Throughout our twenty-two year relationship, he's viewed most of my spiritual explorations kindly, supporting me as much as he could. He could care less about church and I could care less about trains, but we're partners so we indulge each other without complaint.
But when I returned to my childhood church, he struggled -- just like I struggled when he gave up all attempts at spirituality around the same time. Ultimately, being married to an atheist as a believer is just like being married to someone that loves football when you can't stand the sport; you tolerate the differences because that is what couples do.
This bothered me, so when I got married, I carried this defensive attitude into my marriage.
Just the simplest question from my husband would turn into a big blow up because I was constantly on defense. It didn’t take me long to figure out that this attitude wasn’t going to work in my marriage. Pray For One Another Every Day and Pray with one another as well.
Therefore, we must never act out of desperation but of trust.
As an adult, I'd place my hand on the outside of the plane while boarding and pray that the "sacred blood of our Lord Jesus Christ" would protect the plane and passengers -- and I believed with my whole heart that it would work (since I haven't been involved in a plane crash, I guess it did). I abandoned all thoughts of God in my twenties, until it became clear that I needed to be sober.
Recovery meetings are spiritual (not religious) and at that point I settled on a God-centric but non-Christian spirituality that worked perfectly for me. My husband's spirituality is absolutely not my concern.
Today, this is especially true if he comes from a hard line region in an Islamic country or a hard line Muslim family.
Therefore, Christian women must be careful about marrying Muslim men.